Adalah sebuah kebohongan besar kalau aku bilang aku sama sekali nggak ingat sama eksistensi seorang laki-laki yang berdomisili di Malang di sela-sela leisure time alias liburan 4 hari di Semarang. Yang menyebalkan ialah ketika aku sedang asyik dating (Yes, dating! Haha) one of my fellow junior high school mate, then you just popped out on my head.
Jujur sejujur jujurnya, iya--aku kemarin nge-date beneran sama temen SMPku (Aku sudah izin, lho, ya...Hehe). Jalan bareng, makan, laughing at each other jokes, cuma sekadar duduk-duduk dan sharing, tapi keberadaan seorang alienlah (eh, salah banget ya rasanya diksinya) yang sebenarnya aku inginkan di sampingku.
Oke, kedengaran sissy banget ya. Mendayu-dayu gitu, cocok banget kalau kamu dengerin post ini diiringi lagu macam keluarannya d'Masiv atau apalah band lokal dengan liriknya yang sendu dan galau abis itu.
Tapi ya, gimana lagi, orang yang nulis ini juga baru 15 tahun (will be 16 in few month, though) and is deeply falling in love. Ya, ya, segengsi apapun aku buat ngakuin hal tersebut--there I said it--atau yang mungkin sebelumnya sering banget merutuk, walaupun sampai sekarang, calling love is just a shitty game (Pardon my language). Aku, yang mungkin tiga sampai empat bulan yang lalu masih percaya kalau cintaku nyangkut di Korea Selatan atau di London dan nggak bakalan balik ke Indonesia alias nggak pengen produk lokal, confessed that now my love is nyangkut di Jombang.
Terdengar nggak elit banget, emang. Malah terdengar kayak sebuah subtitle suatu novel komedi terbitannya Radith atau siapa-lagi-lah-novelis-komedi. Tapi, who cares? :))
Oh, love, the things you had done to screw my head so badly.
Dan disinilah aku, di sebuah rumah sederhana di Semarang. Duduk di depan laptop ditemani coklat Ferrero dan susu Milo, serta petikan gitar-nya DEPAPEPE -Pachelbel's Canon in D. Thinking about you, yang beribu-ribu kilometer jauhnya.
Persetan dengan gengsi dan keeping my coolness, aku kangen banget sama kamu.
Ya, kamu, Muhammad Idris. ____________
How do you know when you’re in love with someone? Is it when he’s the first thing that comes into you mind when you wake up and the last thing that you think of before you go to sleep? Or is it when your heart melts every time he looks into your eyes? The truth is, the signs come in a thousand different ways.
When you’re having a really bad day and hearing his voice on the phone just makes it all go away. When all you want to do is listen to him talk passionately about his plans for the future. When you would sacrifice your shopping time just to cheer him up on the field. When a mention of his name makes you miss him so much. When all you want to do is staying up and taking care of him when he’s sick. When your face glows every time you meet him. When even the way he laughs and eats and sleeps fascinate you. When you realize you can finish each other’s sentences. When you can recognize his perfume from miles away. When you laugh when he laughs. When you love seeing the reflection of yourself in his eyes. When you can’t stop smiling every time people talk about the two of you. When you remember him in your prayer. When you feel that he’s the only one who can understand you. When everything that makes him happy will make you happy, no matter how hurtful it is inside. When you’re often torn between your own egocentricity and your feelings for him. When really you’re mad at him but all you want to do is cry on his shoulder. When you can’t help glancing at him every other second as you’re both in the car and he’s seriously watching the traffic. When you actually enjoy the moment when he’s teasing you eventhough you’re pissed. When you dreams of yourself being married to him with kids. When you want to be the woman who makes him coffee and puts on his tie every morning. When you’re seriously reconsidering the relocation because it means leaving him as you move to another country. When you find his boyish whining attitude is endearing. When you find his snoring endearing. When you have your own nickname for him. When every time his name pops up in your inbox you smile. When you gladly wipes his sweat as he changes your flat tire. When you find his singing entertaining eventhough he can’t carry a tune. When you forget when was the last time his name doesn’t cross your mind. When you can remember perfectly the sound of his funny laugh, his fake laugh, and his amused laugh. When he’s the only face you want to be on your 500 bucks Anya Hindmarch be-a-bag.
When you would stay awake just to watch him sleep. When you’re seriously thinking of getting a tattoo of his name on your left breast so he’s always close to your heart. When he makes you happy and makes you cry at the same time. When you want him to always be your ‘imam’ when you’re praying. When you’re glad that you can be helpless sometimes because it means you can rely on his strong arms to help you. When being with him makes you want to be a better person. When everything could go wrong in the world and it’s okay, because he’s there, with you.
